The Undoing of Logic and Reasoning
by circa divide
Summary: Spock's logic is no longer in tact. Kirk has no reasoning. What there is, however, is something much deeper. Kirk/Spock SLASH!
1. Prologue: The Logic

A/U : This is my 1st attempt at a Star Trek story, so tell me what you think. This will be in 3 parts, all within 1 story. 1st part is Spock's point of view, 2nd is Kirks, then 3rd is 3rd person POV. Just a glimpse into what might be happening. Tell me what you think, I always enjoy reviews.

There was no logic in it.

His intentions were illogical, his tendencies, questionable at best. But there wasn't any logical reason for me to show emotional response to him. Especially not the emotional response that I had been showing. His fault's overpowered his perfections. Perfections? Why does my mind falter as I sit here, his presence even provokes an unwanted emotional response.

There was no logic in it.

The effect he has on me is illogical. But I can't seem to bring myself to stop looking at him in ways unlike myself. His shoulders, defined, his back, arched and firm, his legs, muscular, his face, too handsome for words. There must be something amiss for these illogical thoughts to enter my head. Yet why does my heartbeat increase in his presence, why do my cheeks flush and turn a darker green, why do the tips of my ears increase in temperature. The attraction has grown far too long, this infatuation is illogical.

There was no logic in it.

When he called me to follow him to his quarters I tried my best to keep up my facade of the perfect vulcan, logical and without emotion. While inside of me my mind was racing far too fast to keep up. His face was odd to say the least, but I followed. Being the first officer it was my duty to make sure the captain was fit to preform to his best ability. Altough that was my duty to Starfleet, my duty to myself was less respectable, it was to keep him from harm, protect him, at any cost, if only for my deep infatuation which now seemed less and less like infatuation the faster we were approaching his quarters.

There was no logic in it.

When we got inside his quarters I sensed something was a bit off.

"Captain, I do believe the temperature in your sleeping quarters has been raised 6.475 degrees farenheit from when you commenced using them." I said, still keeping up my charade of calmness.

"I thought you might think it more comfortable. I actually feel better because it's more relaxing now." He said, the usual grin on his face. That cute, smug, adorable grin. He has no idea what effect that grin has on me.

"I find it to be quite enjoyable to have a slight increase from the cold interior of the Enterprise. It's a rather welcome change." I said.

He then turned toward me, only 3.59 ft away and started walking forward. I stood still and rigid, my mind not anticipating what would happen next.

There was no logic in it, but when his lips touched mine, only one thought entered my mind. Screw logic.

A/U: it's a bit short, but tell me what you think. Next part will be uploaded in a couple days. Then the finale which will be much much longer. I'll try to make it as long as I possibly can without my fingers falling off. :]


	2. Prologue: The Reasoning

**A/N **: I say A/U because to me that means Authors Update not Alternate Universe but I will start putting A/N now lol. But anyway 2nd part starts now. It will be longer than the 1st part (hopefully). I think I'm going to make this into a longer story. Tell me what you think. But I have so many ideas running around my head.

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There was no reasoning behind the kiss. There was no ulterior motive, no big scheme, nothing. A plain a simple kiss. God his lips are smooth, soft, supple and gentle. His movements slow and precise. I moved my hands about him. One resting on his face, mussing his hair a bit, the other exploring his firm yet relaxed back.

As I pulled away I looked in his face, expecting to see a plain, emotionless expression. However staring back at me was something else, a smile. Small at first, but at one look at my happy, yet shocked reaction, it had grown in size. I smiled back, and gave him another small peck. When my lips touched his it felt electric, a lightness inside my head, and a fluttering in my stomach.

"I don't really know what to say here Spock so I'll just tell you what I'm feeling right now. I'm... happy, overwhelmed. I just, I can't even find the words." I sputtered and said aloud, hoping to make some type of sense.

"I understand what you mean, Captain." Spock had said, with a smile still on his face. "But while I don't disagree with what is happening currently I must advise both of us to return to our posts on the bridge, although we can wait a moment for our... dilema to cool down." I looked down and blushed. 'I knew my pants felt a bit tighter.' I looked back up to Spock him straightening out his hair and clothes. A green tinge in his cheeks and his ears.

Thinking aloud, I said. "You have cute ears." I reached up to touch the tips, making sure to be gentle to show that I actually care. At this Spock became a little greener, which in this case, seemed to be good. A small noise escaped his lips, it was cute, almost like a whimper, but in pleasure.

I took my hand back and looked at him. "I must advise we return as quickly as possible, while I do find your touch incredibly... stimulating... I suspect some of the crew is beginning to wonder where we must have gone."

"Ah yes, the crew, how much I wish they weren't here right now, and we could just be alone. You're right though, let's head on out, you can go first and I'll just pretend to be doing something and act like I'm not thinking about you." I gave him a quick smirk and a wink. His eyes seemed to brighten at it, and his lips smiled a bit again.

He opened the door to my quarters, and looked back. "I do however suggest when we both are relieved of our shifts we have a talk."

"Sure, how about a talk over dinner? I can replicate us up a nice dinner and then we can talk. Do you like chess?" I asked him in a non-chalant tone, trying not to seem like an idiot and blatently respecting that I had just asked him out on a date, in a sense.

"I enjoy the game. I would not detest to playing a game with you, if that is what you request." He said back in his monotone voice.

"Alright then, a game of chess and dinner when we get off shifts, with some talking inbetween." I looked at him for a response, hopefully awaiting a yes.

"I will see you after our shifts have ended. I hope to explain some certain situations you must understand." His words sounding like heaven in my ears. I was bursting into dance inside my mind.

"Okay then. I'll see you on the bridge Spock." I said as he turned to leave.

"Goodbye, Captain."

"Call me Jim while we are in an informal situation, I hate being 'Captain' 24/7." Hoping this request would be okay with him. He was vulcan and they do follow orders as strictly as possible, but requests are something they deem illogical.

"I can do that, Jim." His eyes smiling as he talked. He then turned and walked down the hallway, my door closing, while making the wooshing noise that irritates the living hell outta me. But when he left, I felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Something that had been burdening me had made me lighter. It also felt as if my heart was about to burst out of my chest and my mind was running in circles.

"Captains log. Stardate 2248.53  
Only a short time after defeating the rogue Romulan, Nero, I find myself in a rather welcome predicament. I am starting to develop feelings for my first Officer. We kissed today. I can't explain how I feel at this moment because I don't exactly know. It was unprovoked, yet wanted. I would like to say these feelings are somewhat strange and unknown, but I feel accepting of them. But I don't know what I would do if I were to be rejected. At the time I hadn't even thought of that, and I didn't even think to ask if he felt it wrong or invading. It was selfish, and there was no reasoning behind it. When I looked in his eyes however, I seemed to become calmer. His eyes smiled at me, and reassured me that everything was okay, and that he did accept it willingly. We are having dinner tonight and we will talk further on the subject. I just hope that something like this will not leave me. I can't seem to shake this but I have to pretend. End log."

This was going to be the longest shift that James T Kirk has ever had.

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**A/N**: Reviews keep me going, so you keep them going.


	3. 1: It's A Start

**A/N:** I have decided to make this story into a longer story than orginally planned. It was supposed to consist of 3 parts, but I kind of like Kirk POV and am going to have an extended time to play with some situations that seem fun. I have ENABLED anonymous reviews so for those readers who don't have an account and would like to give some suggestions or criticisms, GO RIGHT ON AHEAD! Now, thanks to my 4 reviewers, **squirrelmaster, shatterwing, t-box, and trekkiegirl12.** I hope this chapter makes you like it even more.

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As I walked onto the bridge of the starship Enterprise I felt relieved. It's metalic floors clicking against my heels and the beeping and whirling coming from the many stations like music to my ears. I sat down in the Captain's Chair, my chair, its cool fabric giving me goosebumbs up and down my arms and making me arch my back a little, A chill running up my spine and then fading. I brushed my fingers across the control buttons on the armrest, some lit up, some blinking. I looked at my crew, most working diligently, others talking amongst themselves quietly. Sulu and Checkov where talking quitely, Sulu laughing while Checkov recounted a seemingly funny story. "They'd make a cute couple.' I thought to myself. I looked over at Lieutenant Uhura only to see her looking back at me, almost in a scowl. I looked away quickly to look at Spock, his eyes almost pleading me to help him out. I got up and walked over to Uhura's station.

"Ensign," I said to someone standing close to the station, "Take over for Lieutenant Uhura while we takea walk. Shall we Lieutenant?" I asked her.

"Yes Captain." She said back in a rather displeased tone. 'I need to talk to her about me and Spock and assure her that no harm is ever going to come to him. This should turn out interesting'

As we entered the lift and the doors close we moved down to the lodging floors. When the doors opened we walked to the back corridors rarely used by the crew. Metal containers sitting in no particular order. I sat down on a box and she leaned against a wall.

"You wanted to talk Captain, so talk. I want to know what this situation with Spock is, I see him walk in and him tell me you and him are looking to make some sort of friendship, but behind his words so much more was said, so tell me, what is happening, and what are you planning?" She asked me in a hurried and less then friendly tone of voice.

"Talking on an equal level right now, I can tell you that there is no plan, no giant scheme to bring him up and take him down. All I want to do is get to know the guy, I feel like he's someone who has such a terrible pain, and I just want to try to even take that burden away. I want to make him happy, I want to make him smile, and I want him to feel good emotion. I'm going to do my best to do that, and in no way will I ever intentionally harm him in any way. If I ever did I would be harming myself in the process. I care for him, I truely do, for me it's more important than my own safety. I care, far too much for my own good, but that never mattered to me obviously." I looked to her to see if my rambling had made any impact. Hoping my thoughts transormed themselves correctly.

Her face was many things at that moment, happiness, sadness, contemplation, confusion, and acceptance. "...Well, I see you have submitted a great deal of thought to this and from what I'm getting, this is far more than a friendship to you." I nodded and waited for her to continue. "I will allow this to happen, he is my ex and I do want to see him with somebody who I can trust with him. I get that you do care a great bit, but do not miscomprehend me. If you mess this up, and you let him down, it's your balls on a silver platter. Got that Kirk?" I looked at her shocked, happy, afriad, and even a bit understanding.

Then I did something I thought I would never do, I gave her a hug. That wasn't the wierdest part though, she accepted it, and returned it. "I promise I will do my best to never bring harm to him. Thank you so much. You have no idea how happy you have made me." I felt my eyes getting watery, trying to not let the tears fall. Now that Spocks mother was gone, this was as close to getting a mothers approval as you could get.  
As I released her from the hug, I wiped my eyes and smiled at her. "We should head back now, And get finished with our shifts. And again, I can't thank you enough." I then turned around and walked back towards the lift.

Once we got up the to the bridge I could feel everyone's gazes yet again, but this time they were less antagonistic at seeing that Uhura looked pleased and calm. I then sat back down in the Captain's chair.

"Sir you have a message coming through from Starfleet." Uhura stated.

"Patch it through." I responded.

"Kirk, it's Pike here. How are things so far on you're always entertaining ship." He asked, smiling like always.

"It's very well Admiral. Is there any special reason for your call today, or are you just gonna smile away and make us all a little bit more uncomfortable?" I aksed with an amused grin on my face to let him know I was joking.

"Oh, I have a message, I'm pretty sure you'll all be quite pleased to know that Starfleet has decided, thanks to all of your bravery, on the defeat of the rogue alien Nero, that you be awarded with a 10 days shore leave." Everyone on the bridge burst into cheer and laughter, high-fiving all around, a whistle here and there. "But, before you get too excited, be sure to know that after this shore leave you will be sent on countless missions into the unknown territory of space, exploring new places, and it's not sure just how long you will be without a proper leave. So do what you will with your time, but make sure to those you care for that you are going to be out for an undisclosed amount of time. Now, when you come back to port your Shore leave will begin, enjoy it, and good luck out there. Pike out." And the screen went blank.

"Alright all you heard what he said, tie up loose ends, make amends, let loved ones know what is happening, the works. Time to make a shipwide announcement." Pressing the communicator button on the arm rest I prepared to make a brief statement. "Enterprise, this is your Captain speaking. I would like to inform you that I have just recieved a message from Admiral Pike that Starfleet is allowing us 10 days shore leave." I paused. "Now when shore leave is over, we are leaving for many missions during an unknown amount of time. So do as you will over the leave, just let family, friends, loved ones, know what is happening. Thank you." I took my finger off the button and looked at my crew around me. "Now I know you're all very excited, and happy, but remember, do act civil, and don't get too drunk to remember you have a ship to get to the next morning." A light laughter. "Sulu, at max warp how long until we reach Earth?

"It's going to be about 4 days sir, arriving late afternoon." He said as he plugged in the co-ordinates of earth.

"Well then, we have 4 days left on this ship, everyone be prepared the day of ship departure." I looked around, some nodded and smiled. "Now, if you would Mr. Sulu."

"Yes Captain." He pushed more buttons to iniate the launch Sequence. He announced co-ordinates and readings to Checkov. "Maximum warp speed in 5.... 4.... 3.... 2...."

"PUNCH IT!" And the Enterprise was off again. The Captain sitting in his chair, his First-Officer standing proudly by his side. He could feel the warmth eminating from his body. Little did Kirk know that the heat was not only because Spock was a Vulcan.

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**A/N:** I hope you all like this chapter. AFTER this story is finished which is going to be within the next 3-4 weeks. I will be posting a brand new story. I will give you a slight hint. Try to guess it in comments or something.

**"I sense there's something in the wind, that feel's like tragedy's at hand, and though I'd like to stand by him, can't shake this feeling that I have." Spock sang in a tone unlike himself, one of sadness and loneliness. His voice eminating in a beautifully errie tone. As he pressed his hands against his cold glass of water and the table, he felt as if the croud around his Captain were made of piranha eating away at him. HIS friend, HIS Captian, HIS special one, but dare he say those words, he would feel betrayed by his own self. "The worse is just around the bend, and does he notice, my feelings for him. And will he see how much he means to me, I think it's not to be." Finally standing up from the table he made his way through the crowd. He doesn't know where he is going to, or where he is, he just needed to get away. Away from the insanity and the noise, away from everything.**

So, are you interested? :] Reviews, reviews, they are what I like. Reviews, reviews, they keep me going at night.


	4. 2: These Unfortunate Thoughts?

**A/N:** For those of you who are reading this story, please review, I have enabled Anonymous Reviewing for everybody to give me insight and criticism on this story. I want to know what everybody thinks. Suggestions are accepted as well, and also ideas for future chapters are also welcome. Please review and enjoy. Spocks POV is hard so it's going to sound a little human-like, not only because he is half-human, but because he is starting to unravel his logic and think about a relationship in more of a way that someone in love would. Enjoy!

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**SPOCK POV**

Standing next to the Captain I could feel his presence. He was more intoxicating than I could have possibly thought. I walked back to my station and tried to focus on my work. I tried my best to keep my mind from wandering from the work at hand. Although I tried my best my mind refused to let me concentrate, it kept wanting to go back to the feel of his lips on mine, his hands on my head, and his body pressed against mine. His touch slightly heightened the temperature of my body, made my face flush, and made me feel jittery inside.

Why does my mind travel so far from what is actually important. I keep feeling as if it is more logical to persure my thoughts but then I feel as if my human-ness is the fault for this. If I can't control these feelings then maybe I am loosing the battle, but I can't deny these feelings. Why is this so hard.

I then thought it logical to take a short walk to the observation deck. It has always had calming effects on me, rather than right now it might help sort out these irrelevant thoughts.

"Captain, if it is at all possible, may I take a short break from my work at this moment? I would like to sort out some thoughts in solitude if you don't mind." I asked him.

"Sure, make sure you come back soon though in case any problem comes up where I need my first officer for advise." He answered back, a smirk constantly on his lips.

"Thank you captain. I got up from my station, turned and walked off the bridge to the lift. Turned around and hit the button and waited for the doors to close. Just before the doors closed I caught a glimpse of the devilishly handsome Captain of my heart turn to me and smile. I tried my best to not let my knees buckle as best as I could. The lift started and was bringing me to my destination.

My feelings and emotions again clouding my thoughts with visions of lips, hands, hair, firmness, softness, tasting, testing the waters, and finally becoming relaxed. All these pent up feelings wanting to burst to the surface, all battling to show themselves. I just need to meditate, get my mind away from where I currently am, and try to gain some type of control.

I exited the lift and made my way onto the observation deck. I walked to the control panel and dimmed the lights, then turned on a quick switch that changed the appearance of the room. The metal walls and floor, now gone, were transformed into a small waterfall and a group of rocks. The ambient sounds of birds and other creatures were simulated and emulated from the speakers that had dissapeared as well. I sat down on one of the rocks, which was really a small group of panels from the floor which had risen and been cloaked.

Putting all the logic aside for the moment I crossed my legs and rested my arms on them, palms facing upwards. Internally I calmed my emotions the best I could do, putting the attraction in check, making sure my mind was centered on one thing only, that way I could erase everything from my mind except that one thing. Unfortunately, that one thing at this moment, was a person, and that person was only a short distance away.

If only I could get Captain James Tiberius Kirk off of my mind, then maybe this might be easier.

**KIRK POV**

As I watched over my crew my mind had gone into overdrive as to what had made my Spock leave. My Spock? When had I even started to become possesive? I thought he might just want to think some things over, but that seemed un-Spock-like. Then again, kissing me is un-Spock-like as well. I think I'll just see what's up when we have dinner. So I tried to push him as far from my mind as possible.

There are only 2 hours left in our shifts anyway, I wonder what can make this go faster. I looked to Uhura, wondering if she could teach me some Vulcan so I might be able to speak to Spock and maybe surprise him a bit. I'll look into that but as of right now that would take far too long. Unless there was some way to learn an entire language in 2 hours, I would be reading and writing for days, probably weeks. I opted out of that and actually opted in to watching Sulu flirt with Checkov.

He's so unaware of how obvious he is, he tries his best to deny it, but with the way he looks at Checkov there is not denying it. Maybe that's the way it is with me and Spock? No, I doubt that I look like that. When he is around I do smile alot more though, oh man, I hope it doesn't show.

Around an hour after Spock had left I heard the swish of the lift doors opening. I looked back only to immediately feel calm, happy, and confident all over again. His dark hair, his perfectly structured face, his strong shoulders, and his slim build in my sight yet again. This was yet another time to bask in his perfection and feel even more attracted to him. My gaze rested on his ears, point, smooth, perfect, and tinting a bit green realizing he was being watched by me.

Crap I am obvious. I blushed a bit at this realization, looked down at my seats armrests and buttons. Trying to do anything to divert the attention away from where it had previously been. I looked up only to realize nobody's eyes were on me aside from Uhura and Sulu, both acknowelding the fact that I had been staring. Uhura's face was one of amusement and happiness while Sulu's was one of confusion and shock. If this information seems to be going down this road, this fast, there was a shipwide announcement not too far into the future about a relationship between a certain Captain and a certain First Officer.

I tried to look away, embarassed, and just trying to keep hiding the obvious at that moment. There's only a little while until my shift ends, how much can happen within that short amount of time right?

Jim was rarely wrong in situations, but this time, it did not fall into that category.

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**A/N: **I hope everyone who read this will review, they really inspire me to do my best. And I hope that you continue to read. The next chapter will be uploaded soon, and I hope to keep getting ideas. So read, review, and come on back. Hopefully I can keep you interested, I just need to know that I can. So please review.


	5. 3: The Big, The Bad, And The Fluffy?

**A/N:** I'm enjoying the reviews, but if only I could get more that would be fantastic. I need to know that you, the reader, enjoy this story! But I will survive and continue making this story to the best of my ability. So this next chapter is a little hard to write because I'm pretty much making it up as I go along. Hopefully it makes for a good chapter in the end. Enjoy!

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Sitting in my Captain's chair looking around my crew was something I had grown accustomed to, the beeping noise coming from the communication link, not so much. I pressed the button to pass the message through, not expecting to see the image that appeared on the screen. People frantically running around, many of them wounded, but this was not from a planet or somewhere far away, this was on my ship, the engine room to be exact, Scotty standing in front of the consol trying to maintain his composure.

"CAPTAIN!" He yelled frantically. He looked as if a large fist had punched him in the face, multiple times.

"What's happening Scotty? Why are so many people running around and why do most of them look like they got beat up by a stampede of rhino?" I asked concerned for my crew.

"Somehow, when we landed our ship last, a bloody fuckin' animal had stowed away on board. It's small as hell, but faster than anything I've seen before. It almost resembles a rabbit, if a rabbit could kill someone and rip their flesh from their bones! But I think it's acting in defense, seeing as how a fucking crew member thought to aggitate it and try to get it to leave!" He said just as a body flew right behind him. In the background there was a large clank, apparently that person is going to need some help.

"Okay, don't aggitate it any further, and try to get out as fast as possible, leave it in the room, give it some space.. If that doesn't seem to help, can't you just throw some type of grenade at it or something? Or maybe shoot it? I'll tell Bones to prepare the sickbay. Get you're injured up there as fast as possible." I answered back.

"Thanks, Cap'." He responded and then the screen went blank.

I pressed the intercom to the sickbay. "Bones! Prepare the sickbay for many injured crew members. Apparently, some type of hyper killing rabbit has made its way onto our ship."

I let go of the intercom and awaited a response. "HOLY CRAP, GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK JIM! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIP! SEND THEM IN NOW!" With much grumbling afterwords, his voice showing is annoyance and anger along with concern and frustration.

"Mr. Spock, I must go down to see the crew out of the hostile area, you take the conn." I said to him as I walked away, his face letting a little emotion show through, worry. Worry for me. I can't let that slow me down, my crew is kind of in danger here.

"Captain, as your First I can hopefully help you in this situation, please let me join you. Mr. Sulu, you have the conn." He said. I knew the real reason he was coming. He wanted to make sure I was safe. I wish I could just shout my happiness from the high hills, but I needed to get down there and quick.

"If you wish Mr. Spock." I said as we got into the lift. It started up, but there was a little bit of time before we actually reached the floor.

"Capt- Jim, I do not wish for you to become injured, please do not put yourself in danger and anger this creature further. Please take this situation with great care and think logically." He said, looking very concerned. He seems to show his emotion around me quite easily.

"Spock you don't need to be so worried about me. I can handle myself, you should know." I said trying to get him to calm down, even a little. "But I am touched at your concern. Thank you." I said, reaching my hand to his. I grasped it lightly and felt a little spark. As though someone had touched two wires together for a second then pulled them appart.

He, reluctantly, squeezed back, another quick shock, not painful, but enjoyable. Then he pulled his hand away as the doors opened. We walked through the crowded hallways of the lower decks of the ship. Many people looking beat up, some holding eachother up. I eventually Scotty amongst the crowd.

"Scotty, how many injured do you have to send to the Sickbay?" I asked, preparing to notify Bones. Knowing his frustation would go up even if it was a small number.

"I counted 35 minor injuries, and 3 seriously injured." He answered back. Concern seeping into his voice.

"Alright," I took out my communicator. "Bones, we got a count of 35 people with minor injuries, and 3 severly injured. Be prepared with the equipment you need. I'll wait down here until everyone is evacuated." I then put it up to my ear to wait for a response.

"Fine, fine, fine, throw them all at me why don't ya?! While you're at it, give me some tap shoes and make me preform a dance for each one!" He was angry, to say the least.

"Scotty, move 'em out! I'll handle the situation down here with Mr. Spock." I said looking at spock, a small smile on my face. I can't help it when I look at him.

"Got it Cap'!" He then ushered people into the lift's and some of the ones who could walk easier told them to use the engineering stairwells.

Once everyonew as cleared out. We began our planning to see what this little evil bunny had in store for us.

"Captain. If I may suggest we go in in a peaceful manner, not looking to cause aggrivation or aggitation. Try to coax it to be reluctant and then get it into an area where we can trap it. Then once get to to Earth we can have Starfleet take the necessary precautions to extract the animal and then have them inspect it and send it back to wherever it had originated from." Spock explained. This seemed like the best plan of action to take.

"Seems like that's the only solution to go with. But if it does start to get aggitated, I suggest we make a break for it and book it out of there."

"I do not understand these euphemisms, Captain. But if what you are saying is we make our way out of the room in a quick fashion I do agree. That seems like a good idea if the situation becomes hostile." He responded.

"Alright, lets head on in. Remember, don't act as if we want to hurt it." I warned.

"I know that I will maintain my composure. I was thinking more for your sake." He quipped back.

"I know... I was just warning myself out loud. And now is not a joking manner." I giggled at the end. So Vulcan's can be funny.

I opened the door, not expecting what would happen once I was actually inside.

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**A/N: **Well time to come to the close of another chapter. I just wanted to give you guys a small update. This upcoming week is going to be packed to the brim, so the next update might be a bit late. Hopefully though I can update sometime during the week. The next chapter is going to be more fluffy goodness. And hopefully it's going to surprise you.

:D

And hopefully some readers got the little throw-back to an amazing movie in this chapter.

As always, reviews are always wanted. Please keep coming back for more!


	6. 4: The Preparation

**A/N: **Thank you to all the reviewers out there, all the people who also favorited and alerted this story. I'm gonna do my best on this chapter, it's gonna mostly be a transition. Hopefully you like this story, review please. Oh and I just made up a random planet that Spock loves and I made up a new computer generated closet, lol, sorry for those people who are hardcore trekkers, it made my chapter a bit better.

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As the door slip open to the engine rooms, I was expecting the worse. I looked around to ascess the damage. Many of the machines looked damaged, not being an engineer I couldn't exactly say if they were neccesary, but guessing they might be Scotty was going to have a fun time fixing all this. I looked over to the corner that Scotty had reported the creature had been in.

Spock and I stepped closer, still keeping our composure, trying to not to show it any fear or agression. I could only see a small bit of fur and a big ear. It looked just like a rabbit I had seen on the farm as a child. This one was white, but it looked almost identical.

I looked to Spock only to see a small glint in his eye. "This is no vicious creature, he was trying to protect the nest he was creating. This is a creature from the planet of Alc'ais. It's a planet full of the Alca people who are very peaceful. These animals would be their pets, they are very kind when given the respect they deserve." He then walked over to it.

Panic took over a small bit from me, "Spock, don't go near it, we don't know if it's still in attack mode or something?!" I tried to stop him from moving towards the previously hostile creature. "You don't know what that thing can do, did you not see those people in the hallway?!" Whispering as loud as I could without making the creature alerted.

"There is nothing to worry about, I have studied these creatures, they're peaceful unless provoked." I watched, expecting the worse as he moves closer to the rabbit like animal. He was only a foot from it when it looked back at him, its eyes were big and brown, and it was exactly like a rabbit. Spock then reached over to it. My heart was in my throat and, I could swear, was running at a million beats per second. He then touched it and petted it. I could swear that right then the animal then purred.

I was shocked, Spock quickly scooped it up from the ground. "This creature is quite facinating. I think that we should let the engineering crew that their problem has been solved." I saw his eyes smile in facination at the creature in his arms.

"Yeah..." I looked at him, he was so gentle, barely even touching the creature, but holding it steady in his arms and slowly petting it. It was, for a lack of better terms, cute. I realized I had a big goofy smile on my face yet again and quickly stopped that. I then turned around and started for the door again. Spock right be hind me.

"If I can have a request, Captain, I would like to keep this creature in my quarters, for scientifc study. I will depart with it when we return back to the planet, but I would like to observe it more closely." Spock asked.

"Sure Spock, just make sure you're new pet is not causing any trouble, I don't want to have to go through more repairs. Keep it in a cage and keep it out of the way of others." I looked at him. His face stotic as always but his eyes gave away himself. He was smiling, and he knew that I could tell which made him blush. I love it when he blushes.

"Thank you, Captain." He said, a smile evident in his eyes.

"How many times do I have to tell you, when we aren't on official Starfleet business, call me by name." I explained to him.

"I'm sorry, Captain." Well some things take a while to change.

-Scene/Time Change! :D-

My shift ended and I became nervous again. A long needed talk was coming, and I didn't know what would happen. I don't know what he thinks about this situation. It all might have just been a lack of judgement. His logic had obviously slipped, maybe he would push away from me. Maybe he thinks this all to be an illogical and unwanted situation that would comprimise his job.

I was working up my nerves and getting so flustered that I was just standing in my quaters, my hands were shaking more than they ever have before. I hate this feeling!

I started getting ready for dinner with Spock. Everything needs to be perfect, I can't make a fool of myself in front of the perfectionist first officer and I really wished that everything would go okay.

Once I was done setting the table I looked at myself in the mirror, no this does not do. My mussed up hair along with my StarFleet regulation clothing won't do for a date! I jumped over to my closet, "Computer help me find something for a date!" I yelled.

"What is the fomality of this 'date'?" The computer responded back.

"Well I don't want to be too formal, but I don't want to look like a slob. Oh and I want to show off my body as best as possible to elict the... desired emotional response from my date." I repsonded back, a little smirk on my face wondering what It would provde me with.

"Processing request," I waited impatiently for the computer to find an outfit for me. "Outfit processed. Please watch out as the closet doors open."

As the doors opened there was only one thought on my mind, this computer knows me all to well. This outfit was perfect. I can't wait to see the expression on Spocks face when he sees this. I'll probably have to have a forcefield to keep him from jumping me.

"All that's left is making the food." I thought to myself out loud. "I got it!" I picked up the 'cookbook' that holds all the codes for the food the replicator makes. "I know the perfect meal, he'll love it!" I punched in the codes, and one after the other the food was replicated. I placed the first part of the meal on the table along with a pitcher of water, and all the amenities anybody would ever need.

'This date should go perfectly.' Was his last thought. Yet only a short distance away a certain vulcan was pacing his room while his xenolinguistic friend was trying to calm him down while he thought the exact opposite.

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**A/N: **Okay sorry for the long update time. The time inbetween the chapters is bound to be shorter! I was just so busy the past weeks with starting new projects that hopefully you love. There will be a parallel story going along side of this one. Once it shows up I hope for those of you who read this one will read that one as well. It'll be more playful because it involves two other characters everyone loves. ]

Only 2 chapters are left in this story. The next chapter is also going to be incredibly long, not sure if i should do a epilogue.

Reviews, suggestions, and questions are always wanted! Again, sorry for the wait!


	7. 5: Falling Apart

**A/N:** Sorry for the long update times, I've been far too busy. Enjoy and I hope you like this chapter!

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Spock paced back and forth, very unlike himself. "I don't want to look like a fool Nyota." He told his friend who had just suggest jeans and a t-shirt she had brought him. "That wouldn't be right for a first date, it seems too informal." He went over to the closet. "Computer, I need an oufit that is formal while relaxed. I don't enjoy things tight or things loose. Something black and blue, and something good for a first date."

The computer took a second to respond. "Processing your request." A couple whirling sounds and beeps later it spoke again. "Your outfit will be presented by the closet doors. Please stand clear, Commander." The doors opened to reveal a pair of black pants, a black blazer, and a blue pin-stripe button down shirt, along with a black pair of dress shoes. "Is this adaqute, Commander?"

"Yes computer, thank you." He responded as he picked up the articles of clothing in front of him. "This is much better than your suggestion Nyota. It's more suting of a first date, wouldn't you think?"

"I don't think Kirk would really care all to much, hun. I think he won't care all to much how you are dressed. I think he cares more about how you are as the beautiful person you are normally." She stood up from her position on the bed and walked over to him. "But this does seem more suiting for you" She took his shoulder and made him face her. "On the outside you're the stotic faced, rational, logical vulcan, but I know you. On the inside you're nervous, and probably are over thinking this whole stituation. Just be easy-going and try to lower your shields, don't try to create arguements and you'll be fine." She said to him.

"Thank you, Nyota." He said as she walked towards the door. "Nyota," He said and she turned back towards him. "One day, you're going to be an amazing mother, I can already tell." She looked back at him and smiled. She then continued her way out of his room and towards her room.

As the doors closed Spocked picked up the clothes and began to change. Butterflies in his stomach, his mind racing at a million miles per second. It was not a normal thing for him to be this nervous, 'Nervousness is an emotion, I can't let my humanity affect my judgement.' When he was done getting dressed he took a look in the standard issued wardrobe mirror included with the new A.C.C. or Automated Clothing Closet. Pleased with what he saw he strode out of his room, not sure how things would go over, but determined to get situations settled.

Jim Kirk had been pacing nervously for the past 10 minutes, he was wondering whether or not this was really the best idea. He wasn't sure if he could do long term relationships. 'The longest relationship I've ever held was 2 months and even at that I cheated, this is gonna be an utter failure.' He was about ready to pull his hair out when he heard a knocking at his door. He composed himself as best as he could.

"Come on in." He said, and he heard the opening of the door with its annoyingly familiar 'woosh'ing noise.

Before him stood the most gorgeous person he'd ever seen, and with one look at the sight before him all of his previous doubts flew from his minds. On the negative side, all of his nervousness increased tenfold. The way Spocks shoulders looked so strong and his legs looked slender while muscular. The way his shirt hung on to his chest was perfect, making his stomach look even more flat and his pecs look even more muscular. He was the epitome of perfection, and the blush on his face meant he must of been staring for a while.

In Spocks mind many of the same thoughts were going on. Jim was wearing a pair of lowrise tight darkwashed blue jeans, ripped on the upper left theigh just enough to give a view of the perfectly bronzed skin underneath. A white plaid button-down shirt with black, blue, and green stripes 3 of the upper buttons were left open while the rest were closed revealing just enough of his skin to see a slight flecking of golden hair. His tight clothes making his muscles look even developed and perfect.

"Well," Jim said after realizing they'd been staring at each other in the hallway for over a minute. "Ahem... why don't you come inside." He moved aside for Spock to walk in.

"Thank you, Jim." He said. Another flutter of butterflies in both of their stomachs radiated. Neither of them willing to admit it because of their pride.

As they took their seats at the table Spock could not take his attention away from Jim. But it was then that he realized there was food at the table, there was music in the background, there were candles, an actual tablecloth, and then he realized that Jim had done all this for him. And at that time it was when Spocks logic stopped trying to take over when it came to Jim, and where his emotion started to work.

At the same time Jim felt his heart beat increase, his face flush, and he felt a surge of an overwhelming emotion. It made him feel warm, made him feel happy, and content with everything that was going on in that room. And that was all it took for him to smile the largest, goofiest, Kirk-iest smile he'd ever smiled before.

As they ate the meal they made simple conversations about work, what they did before the joined with starfleet, nothing of too importance. Spock was surprised at the meal Jim had set up for him, the food, the atmosphere, the care it took to set this up, it was amazing. It consisted of a salad first, fettuccini alfredo which was a food his mother had cooked for him on special occasions, and a piece of carrot cake. All of which had tasted fantastic and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

As they moved on to play a game of chess they chatted further until they got to the part Spock had been dreading, the relationship conversation.

"Jim, I know that it is quite sudden to say this, but Vulcan's do not do casual relationships. I feel it is too early to ask this question but can you see yourself in such a relationship with myself?" He asked, hoping to get the answer he was hoping for.

"I going to be honest Spock, and I really don't know. I feel so many emotions that I sometimes get confused, And I feel almost as if we're taking this way too fast, I think we should both think more on this." Jim replied, and Spock felt his heart drop. This couldn't be his Jim, this had to be some mistake, this wasn't the person who such a short time ago was pressing Spocks lips to his own and holding him so tightly. And at that moment is when he started to revert back into his shell.

"I see you're logic in that Jim, it's very noble of you." He tried his best to keep himself composed, but he was breaking on the inside and needed out. "I'm sorry to interrupt this Jim, but I have to go, I just remembered I need to feed the creature that is in my room." He got up and walked over to the door, preparing to leave.

Jim's mind was racing, 'What did I just do? I thought he'd see that I'm trying to be logical, I thought that was what he wanted!' He got up from his chair and walked over to the door. "Well, I had a good time tonight, I hope you did too?" Now he just wanted this date to end, and his heart was falling appart.

"Thank you for having me over tonight, it was agreeable." Spock had said, trying his hardest to keep emotion from his voice. But he opened the door with the welcomed 'woosh'ing. He walked down the hall his hands at his side, his shoulders tensed, his head faced down. He started walking faster, and he was balling his hands. He got to his room opened the door, walked in and fell to his knees. He pulled out his communcator, turned it to the channel he was looking for and shouted into with more emotion that he knew he was capable of. "NYOTA!" It was then that the tears started to fall.

Jim then stood there for a long time. Thinking over what just happened, the voice in the back of his head telling him how much of a fuck up he was, how he never was meant for long term things, how he was useless, and how his asshole stepfather was right. He didn't even realize when the tears started. But he needed to talk. He left his room and started down the hall. He got in the turbo-lift and pushed the button for the sickbay. Once it arrived he almost ran to the office of his best friend. As he walked in he almost broke down, the emotion in his voice was at the highest and he didn't understand it. "MCCOY!" It was then that he finally broke down.

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**A/N:** Again, I'm soooo sorry for the long update. Remember to review, and tell me what you think. I tried to make it as long as I could considering how busy I've been. Thank you for reading! Please review!


	8. 6: Helping Hands

**A/N:** Okay, lets say this quick and get on to the story. Sorry for the long update time, I'm actually breaking up this ending and making it as long as possible. Again, thankies for the encouraging reviews on the last chapter, **Dilmn8**, **achild**, **kitchan**, **crsdot**,** gwynhefar** and to all others who reviewed the other chapters!

Now to answer a concern and a shoutout!!

**Kitchan** – thanks for the reviews, I'm glad you're enjoying. I'm glad you got the throwback to MPHG –hands you cookies- now, I know you said that the reactions were pretty extreme, and it does have to do with advancing and throwing in some angst, but I think the conversations in this chapter will answer your concern

**Dilmn8** – I still cannot comprehend that you are reading my crappy little story. You, the person who writes one of my all time favorites **'It Has Always Been You**' and a new favorite '**You Will Always Have My Heart**'. I'm so glad you're enjoying and I hope you enjoy this next installment, **I LOVE YOU!**

Okay done with that, now. **LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTIOOOON!**

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When McCoy saw Jim stumble into his office he immediately thought the worst. _'What happened to Jim now? Did he get shot? Why is he crying? Did acid get into his eyes? Is he blind?!'_ He ran over and clasped onto his best friend, who was mumbling a set of words over and over. He couldn't figure out what they were until he placed him onto a private sicktable in his office. And at the words he became even more confused.

"I fucked it up, I fucked it up, I fucked it up…" Jim repeated in a monotone voice, no emotion, almost as if he was a broken record. Jim's mind was racing at speeds faster than the highest warp and McCoy knew he had to do something to calm his friend down. And at the moment he could only think of one thing. So he raised his hand and brought his palm to connect with Jim's cheek. Jim stopped talking and then looked up at McCoy.

"THE HELL WAS THAT FOR, BONES?!" He said, now seeming back to his normal self.

"What do you mean 'The hell was that for, Bones?' You walk into my office crying and mumbling incoherently and expect me to know what's going on. Now that you're calm I can ask you. What happened and why are you so upset?"

At that Jim seemed to stop moving and saddened again. He then proceded to spit out one long sentence of garbage about what happened. "I was on a date with Spock and he said he liked it and I said we should take it slow and he said okay but I knew he was upset and I'm and idiot and he probably hates me and I know that you should hate me too and now Nyota's gonna hate me and even I hate me and I just want to redo this entire thing and I've never felt this terrible before!" Then he broke down again, crying, this time less whailing and more full of emotion.

Bones then took the words that Jim's mouth had pretty much thrown up and broke it down. '_Okay, Jim went on a date with Spock, even though I don't neccesarily approve it's not the first guy he's been with. And Spock became upset, left, and now he thinks I, Spock, Nyota and himself all hate him.'_ Once he actually understood it all he started to formulate something to say.

"Jim, calm down, can you at least stop crying? It's really hurting my ears." Bones said a little annoyed. Jim then looked up whiped his eyes and nose with his sleep and stopped crying. "Now that you're calm lets discuss this. Why would you think I would hate you, you've been with guys before, that's not new. And if its because I dislike Spock, I'm not gonna hate you for that, you can choose whatever you want, I'll be behind you 100%."

"Thanks Bones" Jim said, sniffling a little less now.

"Now, Spock walked out of the room after you said you wanted to take it slow?" Jim responded with a nod. "Well maybe he was trying to appease to you and what you like to do, and not to say that you're not slow, but you do take things kinda fast." Jim thought for a second then gave another nod. "So you were trying to win him over with thinking like him but he might not even be thinking like him. Does that make sense? Because he's not even thinking like himself maybe trying to appease his thinking isn't what he wants." He explained.

"… That does make sense. But that still doesn't make it alright. I really think I screwed this up, Bones. And for the first time I'm the one who has to deal with the concequences." His face dropped and he dropped his head into his hands.

Bones walked over and gave his friend a hug. "It's alright Jim, I'm here to help you through this." He felt Jim become less tense.

Bones words of comfort helped. But only one thought was on Jim's mind, _'I will make this right, I'll make sure of it.'_

_-----SCENE CHANGE!-----_

A couple floors up a smiliar scene was unfolding as Nyota ran through the corridors trying to avoid running into people to get to Spock's quarters. _'I've never heard Spock this upset before. Jim better have not have done something stupid. He knows Spock is a secretive, sensative, rational person. So help me, I will break his little neck!'_ Her mind raced as she ran. She finally reached the door. Knocked on it and waited for a response.

"Who is it?" Said a voice unlike she had ever heard before. It sounded so small and sad.

"It's me, baby, open up." She said, concern obvious in her voice.

She then heard a bit of rustling, and then the door 'wooshed' open. Before she could even get one word in Spock grabbed her into a hug and dragged her into the room. She tried to wiggle her way out, but then remembered that Vulcan's are much stronger than humans.

When Spock eventually let go of her she put her arm around his shoulders and rubbed his back and led him over to the bed, concerned for him because this was not the Spock she left a couple of hours ago.

"Now, I need to know what's got you so upset, Spock. So try to calm down and gain a little composure." She said trying to ease him to relax.

As Spock calmed and composed himself he tried to relax a little bit. But whenever he would close his eyes all he could see was a pair of blue eyes and a small pink mouth wording the sentence 'We should both think more on this…' His eyes flew open in an attempt to rid himself of these thoughts.

"I am sorry, Nyota. I did not mean to bring you here just to cause you injury with my rash decisions and loss of self control." He said in a calmer tone, looking apololgetically at his former girlfriend. "It is just earlier this evening when asking Jim a question about starting a relationship and trying to appease him, he somewhat pulled back, opposite of my assumption of his initial reactions. While trying to win him over with emotion I accidentally lost control of my emotions, and when I became upset with the unwelcomed answer I stormed out and made my way here. And at this moment I feel the desire to start everything over. It is illogical and cannot be done, and that is what confuses me. Why do his words hurt so much, Nyota? Why is this happening?" He looked to her for a response.

"Well, I would say that he is wrong in this if it weren't for the fact that he might have been trying to appeal to your logical mindframe." He took in the words and then felt even more terrible. '_He was trying to appease _me, _he was trying to make _me _feel more comfortable. Why hadn't I see this before?'_ He thought to himself, mentally belittling his own actions and then trying to formulate a solution.

"Spock, I think you should just go appologize, and ask for his forgiveness. I know that what you are feeling is new, but you have to accept it for what it is. If you're this upset over something so tiny as this little sqwabble you just had, you must have fallen harder than you realize." '_If only you fell this hard for me, Spock_.' She held that thought within her self though, it was not the time to be saying, or thinking such things. "So go see him, for your sake and for his." She repeated.

"…If I find a time and place outside of the normal work times then I will talk to him. But for now I reqire meditation, and rest. I'm sorry to have called you at this time of night. I bid you goodnight, Nyota." He then got up from the bed, trying his best to hold his composure, and ushered her toward the door.

"I hope this all works out, hun. G'night." She gave a short, comforting, hug and then left. When the door closed Spock turned and let his back fall on the sold surface. He then slid down, his composure lost, his emotions drained. He then got up from his place, took a handfull of animal food and put it in the cage of his little furry friend. Laid back into his bed, and fell asleep.

_-----SCENE CHANGE!-----_

The next day went by normally, but everyone could sense tensions between the Captain and his First Officer. Words were spoken on strictly professional levels, much unlike them, and said words were always spoken in cold, sharp tones. Neithe of them looked at eachother while inside both of them we're forcing this upon themselves. Neither aware of the others guilt and troubled minds. But that's how the day progressed. They had received a new message from a starfleet official requesting a list of repairs needed for the Ship. After the incident with Nero and the more recent 'killer rabbit' incident quite a few were needed. The captain relayed the message to Scotty and told him to take care of it. And he was going for a walk.

"Mr. Spock, you have the conn." He said in a curt tone and then quickly got up from his captains chair and strode out of the room. He then got in the turbolift. Letting his stotic face slip for a second to one of a sleepy, tired, emotionally drained, and sad individual. His eyes seemed darker than usual, his scruffy chin a little bit scruffier, and his hair a bit out of place. He then realized he had forgot to push the button for the sickbay level. Then replaced his face and composed himself.

Unfortunately for him the face was not missed by the person he was avoiding at the moment. And inside of spock his heart wreched. He felt like he should follow him, like he should be the one to go make his Jim happy. '_No, that would be highly inappropriate. Right now we are on shift and that means working relations only.'_ He tried to tell himself, only to have his human emotions hurting even worse. Sometimes, he hated being a halfbreed, and right now, he almost wished he never was born.

As the turbolift made its way down to the level of the sickbay, he recalled the events of the previous night. He just wanted to forget about it, wanted it to be done and over with, but his heart held on, and told him that he was stupid and that he needed to make things right. He fought it with all his being and that made him even more tired, even more drained. He just wanted to sleep, but when he closed his eyes all he saw was the cold eyes of a Spock he did not recognize. And his eyes were jolted open when he reached the floor and the turbolift doors opened. He then strode down the hall, nodding at the ensigns and others scurrying back and forth through the corridors doing their packing or small tasks.

He made his way into the sickbay to find Bones sorting through files looking for something while having a small conversation someone he had on his communicator earpiece. When he looked over his shoulder and saw Jim standing there he then said in a small voice, "I have to go, I'll talk to you later… Bye." He took off the earpiece and looked towards his friend. "What's wrong now Jim? Did you have another fight?"

"No Bones, we haven't fought again. We haven't even talked and that's what's worrying me. All he does is read off whatever readings he has on his PADD that need my attention, relays me messages and follows my orders. I can't take this much longer, Bones. I want my first officer back, I want Spock back!" He said as he slammed his fist down onto a sicktable beside him.

"Woah, calm down Jim. Damn, you're gonna break something, or yourself. And I'm not the relationship expert, my wife is divorcing me and taking everything I have remember?" He said, as he took out a hypospray and placed it against his friends neck. He pressed the button and heard the familiar hiss followed by a small scream from Jim. "That will relax you enough for you to sleep if you want. I can tell you haven't had much the last couple days have you?" He said in more of an accusing tone than questioning.

"Whatever, I'll be fine, I just need some food, and a walk to clear my head. I'll go to the cafeteria right now. I'll see you later, Bones." He said as he headed out of the sickbay. He then popped his head back in. "Bones?"

"Yeah, Jim?" He said getting a little annoyed with his friend now.

"…Thanks for being there." He then smiled a Jim Kirk smile and walked out. Bones then turned back to his work. A small smile on his own lips and a thought in his head. '_What a lovestruck idiot. There's no other like the infamous James Tiberius Kirk, that's for sure.'_

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**A/N: **I know this update took far too long. So reviews are always welcome and I thank everyone for reading!


	9. 7: Starting Off Again

**A/N:** To start off I hope you're enjoying so far. This chapter will be the last chapter aside from a small epilogue. But if you want me to write a sequel I'm game for that. Just leave me some reviews, messages with ideas, the such. I do have 2 more works on the way though, so be prepared for more from me. I hope you enjoy this.

**T'Pinto** – Why are you reading my crappy little story! You're an amazing writer and I can't believe you're reading my story! I LOVE YOU!

Thanks for your reviews all and all of your alerts and favorites. I hope you enjoy this!

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The next day came around. Transmissions were received and replied to, tasks were completed, and people were busied with packing and preparations. On the bridge the lingering tension was beginning to break down as Jim's replies and orders became less cold and more comfortable. But everyone could still feel the sense of tension in the air between the cocky captain and the logical first officer. Not wanting to risk job loss nobody said anything, but the thoughts were there.

"Ensign, how long until we arrive on Earth?" Jim asked feeling as if the trip were taking forever.

"We will arrive in an estimated 36 hours though I think it will be before." The ensign responded and then checked the time on his PADD. "Seeing as it is 2:30 AM at Starfleet HQ it should be around 4:30 PM when we arrive, Sir."

"Okay then." He said, yawning. He shouldn't be taking these late night shifts anymore. He only scheduled it so he wouldn't have to deal with the sight of the half Vulcan he was trying so hard to avoid. "If you all don't mind, I will be taking my leave then." He said with a round of goodbyes and goodnights to them all. He made his way to the turbo-lift and pushed for the living quarters.

On the short ride down he remembered the touch he shared with Spock the other day. He remembered the feeling of sparks and excitement as well as a sense of affection and attraction was over him. He missed the touch of Spock's smooth skin and soft tender lips on his own. He missed the sight of those pointy ears, tinged green at the slighest touch or a small smile. He missed Spock, but he was too damn proud to even say a word to him. Jim then scolded himself for letting himself get worked up over it again.

The doors of the turbo-lift opened and Jim thought he might be dreaming for a second. Spock was standing in front of the lift. Jim's mouth hung open and he quickly closed it. At a loss of words.

"Captain." Spock responded, feeling slightly at odds with himself.

"Hello, Spock." He said. _'"Hello, Spock?" How stupid do I sound now?' _ He then took a step out of the turbo-lift to let Spock pass.

And like that Spock got into the lift and was gone. The moment had passed and nothing had happened. But inside both of them were fighting to keep calm. Spock fighting to want to touch Jim, fighting to keep his emotions in check and to be the logical one. And Jim fighting to keep from wanting to fall on the floor, fighting from wanting to just be touched again by the one person he missed the most.

Jim then walked off towards his room where he proceeded to disrobe and collapse onto his bed. His heart aching for the second time in such a short while. His mind was racing and he fell asleep with the thoughts of the one he wanted the most.

The next day passed with the same monotony and passive agressiveness. Jim was beginning to get fed up and Spock didn't say a word. The bridge was busied with preparations. People were still packing. And some hadn't even begun packing.

At that moment Uhura walked into the sickbay, for the last 2 days they had been having meetings like the one that was taking place. They talked and formed a plan. One to get their friends to get over their pride and get them to talk. And they hoped for the best.

The day rolled around when it was finally time to leave for shore-leave. Most would be staying in the area, some had made plans to visit family and some planned for vacation. As for Jim he would do whatever Bones was doing and Spock would go with Uhura. Little did either of them know that McCoy and Uhura had made plans to stay in the same hotel along the San Francisco North Beach.

Bones and Jim had taken a separate transport than Uhura and Spock but their destination was one in the same. And as soon as Jim and Bones were checking into the hotel Spock and Uhura had arrived.

"Bones, what are they doing here?" Jim asked his friend.

"I don't know, maybe they're here for the same reason that we are. It is shore leave after all. Cant' we just enjoy this, Jim?" He asked keeping up the charade.

"Fine." He responded in a small tone. "But lets just avoid any confrontation okay? I'm not in the mood to deal with this crap." He said as he picked up his room key from the desk and walked toward the elevators, McCoy in tow.

Next in line to get keycards for rooms were none other than Spock and Uhura.

"Nyota, said nothing about the Captain and Dr. McCoy having the same accomidations as ourselves." He said with concern. He didn't want to deal with this right now after feeling so down for the past days.

"I didn't know they planned on staying here." She said. She only hoped her acting could fool him for long enough.

They picked up their keys from the desk and made their way to the room.

The next couple days were spent with McCoy leading Jim around town looking for some fun local bars. Although Jim thought it was to try to cheer him up, it was actually planned to have the opposite effect, which it, in fact, did, and it only made him miss Spock more. Uhura also spent those days bringing Spock to some of the most beautiful places in the city and to nice quaint restaurants. And as Spock thought it to cheer him up it also had the opposite effect and it made Spock want to bring Jim to these places.

On the fourth night of the leave Bones told Jim he was going out alone for one night and that Jim should go do something. Jim kinda nodded his head and agreed. While Uhura told Spock the same thing. And again Spock agreed.

Jim walked out of the hotel and towards the beach, donned in flip-flops, ripped jeans, and a red and black flannel button up shirt. Spock was in a pair of khaki pants, flip flops, and a blue t-shirt Nyota had bought for him the other day.

The night air was crisp and filled with the sounds of insects and distant city noises. The moonlight was bright and lit up the entire area. Many couples were already walking along the beach, so Jim decided it wasn't the best thing to do. It would only make the hurt worse. So he sat down and decided star gazing was the best thing to do at the moment.

As Spock walked the beach he found himself standing in front of a familiar figure. As he watched Jim lay and stare towards the stars he found himself walking towards him. Now would be the time to apologize.

"Capt… Jim." Spock said as he walked closer towards his captain.

"S-Spock, oh." He pushed himself up from the sand into a sitting position. "Hi there." He said, all his nerves returning from the previous night.

"Jim, I came to appologize for our previous complications. I did not intend to create a hinderence in our working relationship. I am sorry." He said as he kneeled down into the sand next to Jim.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, Spock. We were both pretty much wrong the in the situation. I was taking it too fast and I'm sorry." He appologized back.

"There is no need for appology, Jim" He reassured.

"But there is. I was just not thinking and I'm sorry." He spat out.

"I should be the one appolog-" He became interrupted by Jim

"Spock. How about this. We're both sorry and we just forget about it and start over?" He said, hoping his first officer would agree.

"I find that… agreeable Jim." He then sat down next to his friend.

A few moments of stargazing later and Jim thought of something. "Spock, when you look up into the stars, what do you see?" He asked.

"I see clusters of gas, lightyears away. Always forming and breaking apart. Galaxies and planets." He responded back.

"That's what you're seeing yes. But I mean, what do you really see?" He asked.

"I see stars, some big, some small, but all beautiful in their own way. And each of them belonging to a galaxies or planet systems of their own." He answered.

"And how does that make you feel." Jim turned to Spock.

"It makes me feel small. It also makes me feel like there is so much to be explored." He said turning to Jim.

"Then I think that all those galaxies and universies can permit two small such insignifcant people, such as ourseleves, who are staring at it all, to kiss, can't they?" Jim said as he brushed his hand against Spock cheek.

"I think that would be acceptable." As he leaned into Jim's touch and let their lips colide.

And at that moment Spock didn't care about if people were watching. And Jim didn't care about the voice in the back of his head telling him he was a sappy idiot and to have pride. All they cared about was eachother.

As they broke the kiss and looked into eachothers eyes they never wanted this moment to end. But something had just popped into Spock's mind.

"Jim. You still owe me that game of chess." He said.

Jim the proceeded to laugh and pulled Spock closer to himself. Jim's lips on softer more supple ones. The comforting electricity was back.

Taking the binoculars off of his eyes and turing toward the woman by his side, he gave a sigh. "Well then, what is that now, liutenant."

She then turned to McCoy and patted his shoulder. "That would be checkmate, dear McCoy. That would be Checkmate."

McCoy reached out a hand toward Uhura. "Game well played, Nyota." They the proceeded to laugh as they shook hands on the balcony of the room he and Jim shared.

She laughed as well as she shook his hand. "Game well played indeed, Leonard."

* * *

**A/N: ** This ending was hard to write for me. I'm pretty sure that shows. LOL, anyway, review. The epilogue will be posted soon enough. And my other projects that are coming along will be as well. Thanks for reading! And please leave a review!


	10. Epiloge: A Warm Welcome

**A/N:** I love everyone who reviewed, I hope you all enjoyed this story. I have started working on another story. The 1st chapter should be posted at the same time as this finale or tomorrow. So I hope you all enjoy!

The next day Jim awoke in the hotel. He remembered the events of the previous night and looked to his side. The sleeping vulcan was, by far, the cutest sight Jim had ever seen. A small smile on Spocks slightly parted lips with a small dribble of drool falling out. Jim stiffled a giggle. He then hopped out of the bed and pulled on the jeans and shirt he had from last night.

He went to the front door, left a little note telling Spock he'd be right back and went on his way with a small plan formed in his mind.

Spock awoke the a cold feeling against his chest and a emptiness in his stomach. The light was flowing through the sliding glass doors out to the porch and he felt a slight breeze coming from it being open. He pulled the blankets closer, expecting to another person there, only to grab cloth. He quickly sat up and began looking around the room. His mind was racing and his heartrate increaced.

It was at that time that he completely lost his mind. He sat up from bed and pulled off all of the sheets and blankets. He then proceeded to pick up the matress and throw it to the other side of the room. He broke the lamps, the couch, the mirrors, and even the holotelevision provided. When all was said and done the room looked as if a category 5 hurricane had hit and it hit hard.

Spock walked to the sliding glass door and proceeded then sank to the floor with a mixture of angry and sad tears flowing down his face. He had so many concerns, he was confused, he was angry. Had this all been for a one night thing? Was he really doing this? Why can't I ever just really have happiness? Why did I let this happen?

At that moment Jim walked back into the room. His plan had gone over well with the kitchen staff. He decided to get a complete vegetarian breakfast. Organic orange juice, fluffy waffles with fresh strawberries, blueberries, and banana with a sprinkle of sugar with whipped cream, hash-browns with the works minus the bacon and eggs, and an assortment of bagels, rolls, toppings, and lots of tea. He wanted it to go perfect but when he walked back into the room with a rolling tray in tow only to be met by the destructed scene before him and a seemingly tiny Spock crying in the background.

He let go of the tray and immediately ran through the mess to Spock and pulled him into a tight embrace. "Baby, why are you crying? Whats wrong?" He said knowing he had been heard by the hightened vulcan hearing even over the sobs.

"Jim, I thought you were gone, I got so angry, but I was so sad because I know of all your 'one night stands' and then I thought that I might just be another 'notch on your belt.' I didn't know what to do and you weren't here and I'm sorry." He blurted out trying his best not to regain himself.

"No, no, no, no, no. It's not you fault. It's nobodies fault… We'll it's kinda your fault." He said in a joking manner. "If you look over by the door, I left you a little note." He pointed it out and Spock immedately blushed a dark green, and started sobbing again. "Look, don't worry about this. And let's just forget it and eat the breakfast I brought us, okay?"

Spock answered with a nod and pulled himself up from the ground, he put on his clothes and then proceeded to clear a pathway and pick up the mess he had made. And with his efforts plus Jim's they had cleaned up as much as they could in a short amount of time.

After breakfast the couple were sitting outside of the hotel on the balcony overlooking the beach. Sitting in a comfortable silence was rare between the two of them.

"T'hy'la." Spock said, interrupting the silence.

"What?" Kirk said, not understanding the vulcan word.

"T'hy'la. It is the vulcan term for what you are to me. It means brother, friend, and lover. You are my t'hy'la."

"T'hy'la. I like the sound of that." He said, and from then on in the two couldn't care what the universe would think, because they had eachother and to them, that small little Vulcan term, was all that mattered.

**A/N:** again thank you for reading. My next story will be posted soon! I hope you will read that and enjoy it as well! Please review and tell me what you thought! I LOVE YOU ALL! INCLUDING NON-REVIEWERS!


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